When the Birds Gave Me Voice Lessons

Most mornings in the spring and early summer months you'll find me on my back porch, with Beau of course. He's my son's dog who comes to keep me company each week day. He chases squirrels and I watch birds. He knows how much I detest the squirrels eating all the birdseed.

Cardinals, Bluebirds, Chickadees, Goldfinches, and Hummingbirds fill my feeders with activity. Two Bluebirds are nesting, providing me with hours and hours of enjoyment. There is a small bird that goes about its morning scratching and pecking at tree limbs. I rarely see it fly down to the feeders or leave the tree in search of living food. It simply pecks and scratches.

It occurred to me that's the way my mind works with worry. I peck and scratch...over and over. I become focused on whatever issue is at hand through a comment spoken or something I've read and before I know it all sense of time is lost. My mind has written its own plot with characters and endings, most of it doom and gloom. I always think the worst is going to happen. I really should be writing this stuff down, I may have a best seller on my hands. Some of my worries have been taken to outlandish measures.

On a serious note, worry gets us nowhere. It only leads into depression and anxiety. I should know for I deal with depression and am seeking help.

One of the Bible verses I'm clinging to is:

For to set the mind on the flesh is death,

but to set the mind on the Spirit is life and peace.

Romans 8:6 ESV

I don't want to be like the bird pecking and scratching in the trees, lost in my thoughts while life passes me by. I'd much prefer to be like the birds singing from the top of the trees. I know my voice is there, and she knows how to sing. The climb up the tree is the most difficult.

How about you...does worry steal precious moments from you? Does it rob you of your voice? Maybe you're like me and depression has you in its grip. The mind is a powerful organ, able to cause us to do or say things we'd rather not. God spends much of His Word focused on the mind. That's why Satan knew to suggest the thought to Eve, "Did God really say..."

Take time for yourself and watch the birds, they have much to teach us about the human condition. I'm ready to climb that tree, I hear the birds singing.

Cindy

Psalms for the Soul

I went shopping recently, and on impulse, bought a new Bible. I didn't need a new one but it called out to me. I have a study Bible and my well-worn Bible that automatically falls open to my favorite passages.

The teal blue book I purchased is a devotional Bible. When I got it home and opened the pages I knew why it was supposed to come home with me. In the familiar words I read the ancient message from God:

"Your word is a lamp for my feet and a light for my path."

Psalm 119:105 NIV

Do you need a light for your path? I do.

The Psalms beckoned my attention. This was part of the description at the beginning of the book:

"The Psalms are songs and poems, but they are also prayers. In reading them we learn to pray from the heart, to lay ourselves open before God who already knows the depth of what lurks within us, who gives us freedom to bring those depths to the light..." Zondervan

Isn't that beautiful? I'm comforted knowing I can lay bare my soul to the One who already knows what I'm going to say. He's already there with His light because He is light. He will illuminate all the dark places in my life and guide my feet in the direction they need to go.

And as I go, He gives me songs and poems to encourage me along the way. He also reminds me I'm not alone when I mess up. Even David, the man after His own heart, went through painful periods of sin. His enemies pursued him and he could find no rest or peace in his soul. He penned words of lament for us to relate and understand the depth of the human condition. We also see David return to the relationship he had with his God and find forgiveness and healing because of the tender mercy and compassion he experienced.

I have wept and rejoiced with David over my own failures and found his God to be the same compassionate, tender God, full of mercy and love.

The same can be true for you. Open the Psalms and read for yourself. Whatever life hands you, there is a psalm that will speak to your heart. The words are life and they will breathe healing into your wounded soul. But you must read and apply the words and allow the One who loves you most to prove His faithfulness and trustworthiness.

Like David, and me, you'll be able to say:

The Lord is my shepherd,

He makes me lie down in green pastures,

He leads me beside quiet waters,

He refreshes my soul.

He guides me along right paths for his name's sake.

Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death,

I will fear no evil, for you are with me;

Your rod and your staff,

They comfort me.

You prepare a table before me

In the presence of my enemies.

You anoint my head with oil;

My cup overflows;

Surely goodness and love will follow me

All the days of my life,

And I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever.

Psalm 23:1-6



 Cindy





When Life Gets to Be Too Much...Find a Bookstore

As I write this post, I'm sitting in one of my favorite places, a bookstore.

My dad lived with me for a year when he was dying with cancer. When the stress got to the level of, I. AM. GOING. TO. EXPLODE., he'd give me a few dollars and send me to the local bookstore. There was a lot he didn't know about me, but he learned that one thing.

He and I spent my last birthday together, while he was alive, in a bookstore. He had a chemo treatment that day and insisted we make a stop as his gift to me. He bought me a book and a latte. I had to explain the exorbitant charge for the latte. He was accustomed to senior discounts on coffee at the local diner.

Since I was a little girl books have transported me to another time and place. They educate, inspire, transform, and challenge me.

Bookstores and libraries have a calming affect on me. Maybe they take my mind off current issues and problems and allow my brain a rest. I tend to analyze and overthink most things while moving cautiously on everything.

I browse the cookbooks, writing books, magazines, and home decorating books and let my mind create beauty. Then I venture over to the newest publications to see what is hot off the presses. My favorite genre is biographies so I check to see who's written what about whom. I prefer autobiographies unless it's written by an author with an excellent reputation. I didn't read many of the classics in my younger years so I have a goal to read one per month this year.

There are many good Christian, women authors who write with deep spiritual insight that I'm particularly interested in. Emily Freeman, at the top of my list, speaks to the soul. I've just discovered Bob Hostetler, and if you've not read any of his books you're missing a treat. Falling in Love With God is a must read. Donald Miller is another favorite of mine. His book, Scary Close, a book about intimacy, is already on the NY Times bestseller list.

As I've written before, I'd go to the book mobile every other Saturday with an arm load of books and return home with a different arm load of books. They were my escape.

Now I read because I love to read. Books have been my informal education all these years. Instead of the book mobile, I have amazon.com and a credit card, a dangerous combination. One click and the package appears at my door a few days later. No lugging books anymore. Life has changed but my love of reading has not.

Read to your child or grandchild. You may have a book nerd waiting to emerge.

A world of possibilities awaits at the door of the local bookstore or library. Go check it out and relieve some stress while you're at it. I promise you won't be sorry.



Happy Reading,
Cindy

You Can Go Home Again

I left my hometown in the summer of 1978. I couldn't wait to leave. I closed the door to bad memories and opened it to marriage and ushered in a new life in a new town. I welcomed the change.

Life eventually took us to another state and going home meant something altogether different.

My personal roots are complicated. My home of origin was torn apart by cancer, death, and circumstances beyond my control.

Me, Bus and Wilma-2013

My mom's best friend, Wilma, and her husband, stepped in to fill the void. Through the years, their home became the one I returned to. Their arms were the ones that welcomed me with hugs. When my children were born, even though I had a relationship with my dad, their house was the one I couldn't wait to visit to show off my new babies.

I have many memories of my early years. It's a blessing and a curse. The house I felt the safest in is still my favorite place for a drive-by. I can envision my family inside, still intact. It sits one block over from Wilma's home.

Life has a way of bringing you full circle. Age has a way of showing you the big picture.

Forgiveness has faded the bad memories and returning home has become something I look forward to. There are two plots of land that sit on a hill on the outskirts of town that will keep me returning until I breathe my last breath. The two people I honor with my visits gave me life.

The two I came to visit recently have given me joy in my life. They've given me part of their lives. They are two of the most selfless people I know. I made a visit to my hometown and spent a couple of days with Wilma. She's been in the hospital for an extended stay and I wanted to spend time with her. As we often do, we talked about the past, memories we cherish, people we know. I've looked into her eyes, felt her warm embrace, and seen tears trickle down her cheeks as I depart my entire life. It's the way we do goodbyes. She has a tender, genuine heart.

During the years since I left, many things have changed. The high school is now the middle school, and my grade school is now a community center. The downtown area has had landmark buildings torn down and new offices built in their place. Gino's, our favorite pizza place was relocated, and The Dairy Queen is a no-name ice cream shop.

But, home is still home. When I drive through town, memories of my childhood come flooding back. In many ways, I'm still the little girl on the inside when I revisit the town of my past. I can still see myself walking to the book mobile on Saturday afternoons after doing my chores. I can remember playing in the vacant lot on my street, learning to ride my bicycle, learning to drive a car, and losing my mom to cancer.

My high school graduation-1977

But, on the outside, life has made a few changes. I'm a little worn, a little weary. The burdens of life and age begin to show the tell-all signs if you look closely. Coming back to my roots reminds me I'm not the same as when I left. I've made some good choices along the way that have enriched my life, made me stronger, drawn me closer to the One who loves me most. I've also made some choices that caused me to drift.

I'm thankful for the two people who live on a corner in West Madison who never change. Their love and support have remained faithful in my life for as long as I can remember, and I have a good memory. When I left the hospital last week, I told Wilma I loved her. She replied back to me, "I love you more." I couldn't argue with her for I don't know anyone with more love to give.

Even though the home of my parents no longer exists, I can go home again. There's a saying that says, "Home is where your heart is." My heart will forever exist in those I love as long as I have breath.

A part of me will always reside in my hometown. I thought I could run away but my roots go deep in that little town that first shaped me. I had to face my demons and lay them to rest.

It was the heart of the people who truly loved me that held the greatest influence.

Look around you at the lives you touch. You may not think you have much to offer. There are hurting, lonely, children all around you. Invest your time in these little ones, or not so little ones. Their future may depend on it. God may be calling you. Don't disappoint Him, or a child in need.

"...Lord, when did we see you hungry or thirsty or a stranger or naked or sick or in prison and did not minister to you? Then He will answer them, saying, 'Truly, I say to you as you did not do it to one of the least of these, you did not do it to me.'"

Matthew 25:44-45

Cindy

When Life Sends You a Curve Snow Ball

This blizzard wasn't in my plan.

The plan was to travel to West Virginia on Tuesday, spend Tuesday afternoon, Wednesday, and Thursday morning at the hospital with Wilma. I'd leave on Thursday afternoon for home in South Carolina.

What do they say about the best laid plans?

Our life is not ours to plan, nor is the weather.

As I write this post, I'm sitting in a hotel room with time on my hands, time I didn't know I'd have for writing.

She's a southern car, what's snow?

I tried to leave, but treacherous roads and pouring snow prevented me from my journey. My goal was to get home by Friday morning since that's when my Bible study begins, one I've been anticipating for months.

Now that's a good thing, right? So why was I prevented from getting home?

It occurred to me that sometimes even a good thing is not the best thing.

I was heartsick when my car would hardly make it out of the hotel parking lot. All I could think of was I need to be home in twenty-four hours. At twenty miles per hour on the interstate, I need to get this car moving. But driving on icy roads was also foolish and my good intentions may have given me a one way ticket to the pearly gates. The flip side of that was I would get my intense Bible study.

So I'm choosing to be thankful for the time to rest. I'd stocked up on junk food, water, and Gatorade. I'm warm and dry and the scene is beautiful as I gaze at the winter wonderland out my window.

I've been sucked into the Lifetime movie channel. You should see me, I'm crying with a battered wife, the wife of a murder victim, and the daughter of an overbearing mother. I don't watch much television at home. I had to remind myself that my books and writing were better choices. Writing won.

For whatever reason, this is God's best for me. As the snow continues to fall, I'm reminded of Who is in control of all things. That fact gives me comfort.

What is God's best for you? It may look different than His best for me. Just like my situation in the snow, I knew which decision to make. I didn't like it, but it was the right thing to do.

Sometimes our answer is obvious and sometimes, not so much. That's when we pray for discernment and wisdom. He will be faithful to answer our request in His time. His best will always be for our good. I have to keep reminding myself of this fact.

Until better days and warmer weather friends, spring is coming.

Cindy