Tuesday, October 31, 2017

Before You Judge...

I'm going out on a limb today with my thoughts. Normally, this space is filled with stories from my life or bookish things. My goal is to inspire and encourage you to have the best life possible. I found it in a personal relationship with Christ and believe He is the answer to every problem, as well as the source of every joy.

Most of my life has been lived in the shadow of grief and trauma. Writing has helped me process many things. However, I haven't had clarity on some things enough to write about them. Getting to the other side has allowed room for reflection.

I grew up in a home where there was little to no comparison with other people. I rarely ever heard my parents say a negative word about people in our small world. I saw everyone as good, until they hurt me.

Our culture today is very different. Facebook, Twitter, and Snap-Chat are witness bearers of all manner of good and bad. For an introvert like me, it's intimidating to peep into the lives of people without intimate knowledge of who they really are. I'll admit, Ive made judgments about people that may, or may not, be accurate.

Now to my point. I've shared some of my life in this little corner of the internet. But I don't tell you all of the ugliness. I've alluded to childhood issues, but aside from the book I'm writing, the words have remained unwritten in this space.

We live in a fallen world, do we not? It's normal to judge what we see and hear to discern truth. The problem I have with it is we don't know what the neighbor next door, the man in the grocery store, or the prostitute on the corner has suffered in the course of a lifetime. People are labeled then cast aside, ignored, and forgotten.

You wouldn't know by looking at me that between the ages of 15-17 I experienced the death of my mother, sexual abuse, rape, abandonment, rejection, and severe loneliness. My smile covered the deepest wounds as my character and self worth were still being formed. I believed I could stuff everything in a memory trashcan and move on in life. I married a wonderful man, with a solid family, at the age of 18 and walked away from my former life.

Unfortunately, you can't walk away from yourself. I learned coping skills, but the wounds were still buried deep inside me. And like most wounds that don't heal properly, I became infected. The last few years have been difficult, filled with pain and hopelessness.

Most people did not know the root of my pain. I'm generally a private person, even with a blog where I write about life and family.

This is the nugget I want you to understand today...You don't know what someone has been through until they own their truth. You only see a glimpse into the real life of people you meet in public. How do you react to the woman showing too much skin? How do you treat the least of these, the ones who don't look like you? How do you treat the couple having marital problems, or the girl who had an abortion?

Before you judge, simply consider what life may have dealt.

If my home hadn't been torn apart by death, I might have a different story to tell. But God allowed me to endure all those things for a purpose.

He saved me, literally and figuratively. He remained faithful to me even when I was not faithful to Him. He protected me under the shelter of His wing until I could get the help I needed. He loved me unconditionally and put people in my life who nursed me back to health. He showered me with people who loved me and did not judge me as unworthy.

Before you judge, love first. The person you condemn has already walked a thousand miles in condemnation of herself. She needs to know hope is waiting on the other side of brokenness. Be the one to offer encouragement and a willingness to listen.

Agape love, the purest form of love, is the path to a life of recovery. God Himself heals the broken and binds up their wounds. He did it for me, he'll do it for you.

Look beyond the smile, and the tattoos and piercings you may not agree with. Love the person, the real flesh and blood one, made in the image of the living God. You might just find a gem hiding behind the pain.



10 comments:

  1. Thank you for sharing this! What a beautiful testimony of God's faithfulness! I so long to have the heart you are describing - one that loves first, offers hope, encouragement and leads the broken to our healing God. May the Lord continue to use the story He has sovereignly given you to reach many, for your good & His glory!

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    1. Thank you Kathy! It took me a long time to understand His sovereignty, however, I know/knew He is good. I'm blessed to have a solid foundation so I knew how to get help. Were it not for that, I'd shutter to think where i'd be. I believe He literally hid me under His wing until I was strong enough to do the hard work of healing. Thx for reading and commenting. It means so much to know my words aren't in vain. :)

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  2. Your honesty and wisdom here are astonishing. I know this post was hard and scary to publish. and if your words help only one person love more freely and judge less harshly your post was worth it. Love you, Cindy. ~Dawn

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    1. Thank you for your kind words, Dawn! Yes, it was very difficult to hit publish, but I'm compelled to help those in bondage. I want others to know the freedom I have in Christ. Thank you for recognizing the effort. Love you friend!

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  3. Absolutely, 100% spot-on, my friend! Love u

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    1. Thank you for the support and encouragement! Love you!❤️

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  4. Beautiful! Thanks for sharing, Cindy!

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    1. Thank you, Kendra! Your words of encouragement mean so much. 😘

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  5. What a precious person you are!! So many things you said ring true in my own heart. I can't to buy your book!! That is secretly one of my dreams (well not so secret now haha). You make me want to at least dust off the cobwebs off my blog.
    I hope we can find a way to get together soon! May God bless your ministry.

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    1. Oh Krystal, you've just made my day! I would love for you to read my book one day, and I'd love to know you started writing again. I didn't know you had a blog. Let's do get together soon. I'd love to hear your story! Thx for commenting with such encouraging words!

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