Sunday Dinner in the South

There are many things I love about the south, but one of my favorites revolves around the tradition of weekly family meals. The most common is Sunday lunch after attending worship services together. Until Covid-19 crashed into our world, my family visited various local eateries. The question wasn’t if we were going to eat together, it was where are we going to eat? Sunday lunches were a time to reconnect after the busyness of life; a time to share the important moments, and not so important moments. After lunch we went our separate ways, with our goal of a nap and a long walk.

 

And then everything changed in March 2020. Countless words have been written, and will continue to be written until we define what the last year meant to us as a culture. Our lives suddenly shrank into the walls of our homes and the safety of our vehicles. Going to the grocery store, the gym, worship services, and even our jobs became dangerous for our health. Fear settled over us like a wet blanket and dictated how we communicate to our neighbors, families, and co-workers. Panic screamed through social media that we’ve all become accustomed to, and the national media fed our fears and starved common sense.

 

Back on the home front, children still needed schooled, fed, loved and nurtured. The need for income didn’t lesson because of a worldwide pandemic. Each family had to decide what worked for them and how they would navigate the new constraints issued by local and state governments. 

 

Food was common ground for all of us. It became nourishment, comfort, and for some, an outlet to educate and entertain. I spent untold hours watching Brenda Gantt of Andalusia, Alabama, teach how to make perfect biscuits, and on Sunday mornings she cooked lunch from her kitchen for her family before logging into her worship service. What a delight she was with encouragement in the spiritual life as well as our physical need for food.

 

My family continued to gather on Sundays, but instead of meeting at a restaurant after church, they came to our home. The menu varied from baked salmon, grilled chicken, smoked pork loin, steak, spaghetti, and lasagna, with many different sides and salads. This time together became sacred. No one was in a hurry to leave after we finished eating. We spent time on the porch, swimming in the lake, and coloring at the dining room table when it was too hot to be outside. My son, Andy, brought Morgan to lunch at the end of March, and now she is my daughter-in-law. Our Sundays became a sweet time of bonding as we got to know her and shared family traditions that each of us grew up with. 

 

Food is as individual as the person eating. Many of our conversations revolved around our favorite foods including childhood likes and dislikes. The problems and stresses of living through a pandemic seemed far away on Sundays. Laughter and family stories replaced the sound of television and dreary newscasts. After the kids left each week we sat in the glow of treasured time. 

 

This past year has been trying at times, desperate at other times, but I can’t say I would change anything. The end result was worth every mask and every panic buy at Sam’s. As for cooking on the internet, there are wonderful cooks out there teaching us how to feed our families home cooked meals served around the table with real dishes. Traditions are being passed down that remind us of the importance of the family and the many values taught while sitting around the dinner table. 

 

P.S. After I wrote this post, Diane Leary, a much-loved woman I go to church with is sharing her cooking skills on Facebook. You can find her at MeMe’s Recipes. Like and follow her for delicious recipes and helpful cooking tips.

A Year in Review

 A New Year message with its sentimental clichés didn’t seem appropriate. With all the confusion and unrest, it seemed a better idea to celebrate all the good of the past year. I recognize that 2020 was financially, emotionally, and mentally difficult for many of us. Families lost loved ones due to the pandemic, so I certainly don’t want to minimize the devastating effects on anyone reading my words.

 I’m choosing to look for the silver lining, the rainbow, and the hidden treasure in this historic year.

 

2020 ushered herself in with the normal declarations of a new year, a new decade, and new beginnings. Life settled into the predicted rhythms of January and February­­–family dinners, ministry opportunities, lunch and dinner with friends, Mexican food before bells and choir on Wednesdays–all the things. My life was as planned and consistent as the changing of the seasons. 

 

The first chink in the armor of normalcy occurred when the writing conference I’ve attended in February since 2013, was moved from the Billy Graham Training Center at the Cove, to Ridgecrest, a few miles up the road due to fire. No worries, it’ll be fine, I thought. The food wasn’t as good, but the speakers were still top rate.

 

There was chatter of a horrible flu in China and Europe, kind of like television noise in the background, but you’re not really watching. And then professional sports teams began canceling their seasons. We took a step closer to the television, listened for a bit and declared they were taking this thing too seriously. It couldn’t possibly shut down our country. Could it?

March roared in like a lion, and captured the attention of all of us. And you know the rest of the story. We stayed home, we worshipped from our living rooms, we ordered food and essentials from multiple apps on our smart devices, and we lamented.

Bryson and Sarah, B and Pop Pop

 Our family continued to see one another on a regular basis. Sundays began with online worship, and progressed to home-cooked lunches. Andy, Bailey, and Cameron arrived and we enjoyed fellowship around the table. Morgan and B entered our lives and Sunday family time stretched into the early evening with swimming and boat rides, and lots of coloring with B. No one had anywhere to be and that provided golden opportunities for quality time.

 

I spent a great deal of time planning and preparing meals. Scoping out the grocery store became a daily obsession with food supplies in demand. I was present when hamburger was stocked, and bought the maximum allowed to share with my children. My love of cooking was renewed as we tried new recipes for Sunday lunch, and mastered the Big Green Egg. I read books and wrote poetry to still my anxious thoughts. Zoom entered our lives and became the gateway for human interaction, encouragement, and meetings. Who would’ve thought our social lives would mirror the opening of the 70’s show, The Brady Bunch?  

 

We watched our son fall in love with Morgan and B, get engaged, plan a wedding, sell a house and buy a house, and it all culminated with a beautiful ceremony surrounded by family. 

 We spent countless hours working around our farm, making needed improvements, and enjoyed time together. Long walks and serious conversation about the future were common. We were blessed that my husband continued to work and stay productive. This was one of his busiest years in thirty-plus years of business. Covid-19 visited our home in mid June, but my husband was the only one to get sick in our family. He still has recurring effects of having the disease. And yet, we have much to be thankful for.

 

As I look back on 2020 and plan for 2021, there’s still so much uncertainty. As I write these words, the vaccine is becoming available to health care workers and the elderly.  One of the most important things I’ve learned this year is that very few things are certain, nothing is set in stone. I must hold my calendar with an open hand, and the ones I love with a firm grip. I must love unconditionally, and filter everything through the lens of kindness and forgiveness.

 

The one thing I do know for certain is my worth in the heart of my Savior. Nothing in my life happens before it’s filtered through His omniscient, omnipresent hands. The world may look dark, yet His light never dims. I trust Him with my days, my life, and my schedule. As we roll the months of the calendar over and 2021 makes her mark in history, may we seek to be people that participate in the solution to the darkness. May our actions prove our loyalty and devotion to the One who holds us dear.

A Tribute of Love

      We mark time by the events in our lives. Weddings, deaths, births, and graduations are the benchmarks of living. Some events are so cataclysmic that our before’s and after’s are worlds apart. For me, the death of my mother when I was fifteen was the first major before and after in my short life. Everything from that point on was measured by that loss. There was a period of time I felt no one else’s pain or suffering. The worst thing I could imagine had happened to me, and I simply felt nothing.

 

     Other milestones in my life include leaving West Virginia and moving to South Carolina, adopting my children, moving from the coast of South Carolina to the upstate, and the different homes we lived in along the way. The year my dad lived with us, and his subsequent death, were defining moments. I changed in ways I never thought possible during that time. 

 

     The most recent marker in my life has its first anniversary on September 30,^, 2020. My dear cousin and friend, Ruth, went to heaven after a very short illness. Our family was shocked and grief stricken at her passing. She was the connection to my maternal family. Ruth was loved deeply by everyone who knew her, as witnessed by the standing room only crowd at her home church who wept at the realization she was gone. The story of her sickness and death on our lips as if to say, “How did this happen?”

   

    She was young and young at heart in the very best of ways. Her husband, children, grandchildren and extended family and friends loved her beyond words. She earned respect and honor as the Proverbs 31 woman exemplified. Her friendships spanned sixty plus years, an amazing quality in this day and time of throwing people away when they no longer meet our expectations. 

Sisters, Alice and Ruth

     The quality I loved about her most was her ability to love unconditionally. She was my go-to person. She listened to the details of my deepest wounds and fears when my world was falling apart, not just once, but twice. When my mom died, I gravitated to her kindness and loving arms. When my marriage was in deep trouble and I was going through a breakdown, she’s the one I ran to. She comforted me and shared godly wisdom with no condemnation. We laughed together and cried together and reminisced about our family until the late hours of the night. She made my visits an occasion with the best food, surrounded by her girls, and then later her granddaughters. Her husband, Emil, ventured into the dining room every little bit, smiling and shaking his head at our laughter and conversation. I will never forget those visits and the love that filled every nook and cranny of her home.

 

     My heart aches for her family. Our loss was palpable at the recent wedding of one of her granddaughters. Her picture adorned a memory table, her presence felt among us. Her husband, children, grandchildren, and great-granddaughter are in my thoughts and prayers as they mark the date of their before and after. We have the blessed hope of seeing her again one day, along with the rest of our family who have already entered glory. 

 

     Ruth, you were loved as well as you loved. The light dimmed in our world when you left, but the life you lived will never dim in our memories. Until we meet again…

Books for Quarantine Reading and Other Free Time

I don’t know about you, but this time in our world has affected me mentally, more than physically. I’m a very content introvert, so being at home is not an issue. I love having time for all the things I love doing. If you’ve read my blog for any length of time you know I love to read, write, and ponder. What more perfect time for these pursuits? However, it’s been difficult to focus. I normally read six-eight books per month, but during the month of March when I’ve had more time, four books was the best I could do. This frustrates me to no end.

I believe this too shall pass and decided it was time for a book recommendation post. I keep a book journal and enjoy reading over titles that were especially good. Here are a few of my favorite books from the last year:

Where the Crawdads Sing, by Delia Owens, was one of the best books of the year. This is a story of a girl who lost her entire family, one at a time, and lived alone on the coast of North Carolina. She was tough as nails, and smart enough to feed herself from the river she grew up around. Nicknamed the  “Marsh Girl,” she proved how resilient she was from the tragedies she suffered

 

Born a Crime, by Trevor Noah, is a great book if you’re interested in social justice. This is a memoir written by a South African man whose mother was black, and his father white. Interracial relationships were illegal at that time in South Africa. Mr. Noah relates his story with humor and heartbreaking details of life as a young boy who was rejected by the black community, as well as the white community. If you prefer audio books, Mr. Noah is the narrator for his book. As a disclaimer, this book is laced with profanities, which I normally shy away from.

A Grief Observed, by C.S. Lewis, is a short book written by the prolific author of The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe.  Mr. Lewis married later in life, and lost his wife to cancer after only a few short years of marriage. As many writers do, he grieved through writing words of consolation to himself. I’d highly recommend this book if you’ve lost a loved one, especially a spouse.

We Were the Lucky Ones, by Georgia Hunter, is based on the true story of a family who survived the Holocaust. Their gripping story is one I could not stop reading. It helped to know from the beginning that they survived, but the details of their place in history kept me thinking about them long after I finished the book. Ms. Hunter is the granddaughter of one of the main characters. She was able to interview some of the original family members, but had to create dialogue and some of the scenarios. For this reason, this book is listed as Historical Fiction. Anne Bogell, interviewed Georgia Hunter on her podcast What Should I Read Next, Episode 157, dated October 30, 2018. Their story of family love and survival is truly inspiring.

I saved the best for last. My favorite book of the year is One Good Mama Bone, by Bren McClain, an Anderson, South Carolina native. Bren weaves the story of a woman raising the illegitimate child of her dead husband and her best friend, with the wisdom of Mama Red, a cow with a nursing calf. This story is heartfelt, and teaches the reader the meaning of perseverance, honesty, and faithfulness. Life lessons are here for the taking, and the local references make it especially genuine. 28-year-old Mama Red lives on a farm in the New Prospect Community of Anderson County. 

Here are a few books that also made the list:

Educated by Tara Westover

Inspector Gamache Series (14 books) by Louise Penny

The Practice of the Presence of God by Brother Lawrence

White Heather by Eunice Sullivan Pracht (poetry-local author)

Let Your Life Speak by Parker J. Palmer

For All Who Wander by Robin Dance

 R

Such A Time As This

My quarantine may look different from yours. While I have shunned people, I still make trips to the grocery store, the bank, and the recycling center. I continue to put gas in my car and stop at Starbucks for my favorite latte. I’ve continued to cook for my family on Tuesday night, and Sunday lunch, and every meal in between. I haven't done this much cooking since my children were home and around the table every night. The walk I take every day is therapy for my soul–cows or deer the only living thing I see. Occasionally, a neighbor drives by and we share a heartfelt wave.

A recent trip to the grocery store rewarded me an air hug from twenty yards with a church friend. Fluorescent tape announced the border I mustn’t cross in the Starbucks line, as conversation revolves around “me too” experiences. Relationships have been made sweeter through Zoom connections online. 

Life before Covid-19 will resemble nothing of life after Covid-19, and that may be a very good thing. Gathering for worship is a privilege even more than a right. Embracing those you love will be instantaneous rather than an afterthought. Dining in my favorite restaurant will be savored and celebrated. I often say it’s the simple things that make life extraordinary, and this crisis earns exclamation marks after that statement. Our simple activities are no longer so simple and must be thoroughly planned so we don’t harm our fellow humans.

But, the one thing that will never change or be taken away is the intimate connection with my heavenly Father. There are no borders, no rules, no guidelines to ban me from His presence. He is as close as a prayer, the whisper of His name on my lips. He is my comfort and peace in the midst of every storm. “Do not be afraid,” is the most repeated phrase in all of scripture, and yes, it applies to such a time as this.

This virus did not take Him by surprise. Because of this, I choose to welcome every day as a gift I will use to bring honor to His name. I choose to delight in the beauty of this glorious spring and serve those around me until this passes. I choose to speak words of encouragement and not words of criticism. We each have a role to play, some much more important than others, but all necessary. I’m encouraged by the evidence of families spending more time together, laughter surrounding the amount of food we’re all eating, and the abundance of entertainment on social media. There are some crazy, funny people out there helping us navigate these strange times we’re in. 

My prayer is for you to be safe and well and tucked in with those you love each night. I pray there are more books than you could possibly read, laughter that makes your belly ache, and enough food to keep you satisfied. And when you lay your head on the pillow at night, pray for those who are suffering and those who care for them.