Letting Go and Grabbing Hold

I want to tell you a story about learning to trust my husband, but more importantly, learning to trust God.

We'd moved to our little town in the upstate of South Carolina in the summer of 1989 and started a Land Surveying business. If you can remember, there was a recession at the beginning of the new decade, but shortly thereafter, the economy began to take off. In my humble opinion, Wall Street and all the forecasters look in the wrong places when they're trying to predict what's going to happen in the financial realm. They need look no further than the local Land Surveyor. If he's busy, then look out, good times are ahead.

Bailey standing in my dream basement!
She looks so tiny!

Business started picking up and our little enterprise started growing. I've been my husband's bookkeeper all these years and if you call our office you will more than likely hear his voice. He's very much a hands on boss and sees the company as a mission field and his employees as family.

Because we've been frugal with our money, we were able to purchase some land in the country in 1993. I. Was. Ecstatic. My children were going to have room to roam...we would have a garden...there was a pond...and we were going to build a house. My dream house. A farmhouse. The angels were celebrating with me. No, I made that up. But, maybe they were, for they know my history. House plans were ordered...basement dug...much time and dreaming were spent at the farm...

Until ... one day my husband begins acting strange. He comes to me in March of 1993 just as we're preparing to begin construction. He says, "Cindy, God has told me not to build this house, and there's more...He also said to sell the land." Well, you can imagine my reaction. I was so mad at him, not God. I thought he was using God to get out of building.



On Golden Pond

I had made plans ... I had already placed my furniture in each room ... I already had my children growing up in this house. Well, let's just say, "if momma ain't happy..." I'm ashamed of myself when I look back on this time in my life but because of deep childhood wounds and scars, I have a hard time of letting go of things, people, relationships, memories ... you name it, I hold on to it.

However, I agreed with him because he is the head of our home and that's what I'm commanded to do, but my heart was not in it. He felt so bad, and yet, his burden was lifted because he knew he was being obedient. He also told me at the time, "I believe this is what we're supposed to do and I believe I'll build your dream home within five years."

Now, let me make very clear, this post is not about getting the house you want. This is about trusting God with every aspect of your life. We sold the land and God has used that incident to teach me multiple lessons as well as my children. They probably learned more than us but I'll save that for another post. My husband did build my dream home in three years and we still live in it. The most incredible thing about the whole story is that God built it debt free. His way of doing things is so much better than anything we can plan.

Whatever you're going through, He will guide you and go with you. He won't let you face it alone but you have to let go ... you have to be willing to give up something good for something that's best. He's walking with me right now through one of the most painful seasons of my life and it's about letting go ... He will not disappoint you. It may not look exactly like you envisioned but His way is always best.

I write a lot about trust ... am I going to trust myself, my husband, government, life circumstances? Or, am I going to trust my Creator and the lover of my soul ... the One Who has said, "He will never leave me nor forsake me ... the One Who said, He has gone to prepare a place for me?"

I think I shall trust the One Who said, "I love you with an everlasting love; therefore, I have continued my faithfulness to you." Jeremiah 31:3 ESV He is the only One that's worth letting go of everything this world has to offer to grab hold of His hand.

What are you holding onto that keeps you from the best things He has to offer?

Blessings from My Little Corner,
Cindy