Tuesday, October 31, 2017

Before You Judge...

I'm going out on a limb today with my thoughts. Normally, this space is filled with stories from my life or bookish things. My goal is to inspire and encourage you to have the best life possible. I found it in a personal relationship with Christ and believe He is the answer to every problem, as well as the source of every joy.

Most of my life has been lived in the shadow of grief and trauma. Writing has helped me process many things. However, I haven't had clarity on some things enough to write about them. Getting to the other side has allowed room for reflection.

I grew up in a home where there was little to no comparison with other people. I rarely ever heard my parents say a negative word about people in our small world. I saw everyone as good, until they hurt me.

Our culture today is very different. Facebook, Twitter, and Snap-Chat are witness bearers of all manner of good and bad. For an introvert like me, it's intimidating to peep into the lives of people without intimate knowledge of who they really are. I'll admit, Ive made judgments about people that may, or may not, be accurate.

Now to my point. I've shared some of my life in this little corner of the internet. But I don't tell you all of the ugliness. I've alluded to childhood issues, but aside from the book I'm writing, the words have remained unwritten in this space.

We live in a fallen world, do we not? It's normal to judge what we see and hear to discern truth. The problem I have with it is we don't know what the neighbor next door, the man in the grocery store, or the prostitute on the corner has suffered in the course of a lifetime. People are labeled then cast aside, ignored, and forgotten.

You wouldn't know by looking at me that between the ages of 15-17 I experienced the death of my mother, sexual abuse, rape, abandonment, rejection, and severe loneliness. My smile covered the deepest wounds as my character and self worth were still being formed. I believed I could stuff everything in a memory trashcan and move on in life. I married a wonderful man, with a solid family, at the age of 18 and walked away from my former life.

Unfortunately, you can't walk away from yourself. I learned coping skills, but the wounds were still buried deep inside me. And like most wounds that don't heal properly, I became infected. The last few years have been difficult, filled with pain and hopelessness.

Most people did not know the root of my pain. I'm generally a private person, even with a blog where I write about life and family.

This is the nugget I want you to understand today...You don't know what someone has been through until they own their truth. You only see a glimpse into the real life of people you meet in public. How do you react to the woman showing too much skin? How do you treat the least of these, the ones who don't look like you? How do you treat the couple having marital problems, or the girl who had an abortion?

Before you judge, simply consider what life may have dealt.

If my home hadn't been torn apart by death, I might have a different story to tell. But God allowed me to endure all those things for a purpose.

He saved me, literally and figuratively. He remained faithful to me even when I was not faithful to Him. He protected me under the shelter of His wing until I could get the help I needed. He loved me unconditionally and put people in my life who nursed me back to health. He showered me with people who loved me and did not judge me as unworthy.

Before you judge, love first. The person you condemn has already walked a thousand miles in condemnation of herself. She needs to know hope is waiting on the other side of brokenness. Be the one to offer encouragement and a willingness to listen.

Agape love, the purest form of love, is the path to a life of recovery. God Himself heals the broken and binds up their wounds. He did it for me, he'll do it for you.

Look beyond the smile, and the tattoos and piercings you may not agree with. Love the person, the real flesh and blood one, made in the image of the living God. You might just find a gem hiding behind the pain.



Monday, October 16, 2017

Come In and Stay Awhile

At the beginning of 2017, I wrote about Rest, Renewal, and Repurposing. In a recent post I shared books that have given insight into these goals.

While on vacation recently, I had the opportunity to reflect on the last several months. Am I following through with the desires of my heart for the new year?

The first morning I woke to the sound of the sea I read this in God Calling: "Yes, come for rest. But stay for rest too. Stop all feverish haste and be calm and untroubled..."

Untroubled...Hmmmmm. I had to ponder that word.

His Presence offers us the invitation to leave our troubles at the door. Come in and stay while, but come with empty hands and heart. He offers to mend our bodies with rest that's good for the soul.

"Come for rest. But stay for rest..." Don't just drop in for a quick chat and then grab your troubles as you make a hasty departure.

Have you had an impromptu visit by a friend that brought a smile to your face when you opened the door? After normal pleasantries are exchanged she tells you she has only a few minutes, and then explains the reason for coming. Disappointment crosses your heart, but you understand.

And then there's the friend who comes with no agenda, except her desire for your company. Delicious food and drink may be involved as you settle into cozy chairs. Time is all you have and the soul leaps for joy as you dive deep into conversation. Hearts and minds are unburdened of life's sorrows, blessings are remembered and friendship is deepened. One hour turns into four and you are indeed refreshed. One of you may say, "Why don't we do this more often?" Love multiplied by love equals joy and peace.

This has been my experience many times through the years. I have meaningful relationships with my closest girlfriends, but the key is spending time together to reap the benefits.

The same is true of our relationship with Christ. We must spend uninterrupted time with Him. He longs for us to sit in His Presence and listen to words of love and affirmation. He beckons us to share our deepest sorrows and greatest joys. And the coolest thing is He is always willing to visit as long as I need or want. His knock at my door is an open invitation to "Come to me all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest." Matthew 11:28 NIV

Most of my adult life has been spent in the pursuit of peace, only to find Peace in the form of my Savior. What a relief to accept His offer of hope in a battered and bruised world.

I think I can say I'm making progress. Many changes have occurred this year, most of them life giving. I've learned rest doesn't just happen, you must pursue it. True rest comes when I allow God to fill every hole of emptiness with the truth of His word. As my mind is renewed, the body rewards my efforts.

I'm so thankful for those who have walked along with me to shoulder my burdens. Ultimately though, Jesus is the only one who offers true, lasting rest.

Make time to visit and leave your worries as you enter His presence. After a long conversation you may even forget the baggage you left at the door.





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