Goodness of God

 I was in the choir loft of my church on a normal Sunday morning. We were singing The Goodness of God, one of my favorite contemporary songs. As my eyes scanned the congregation, I found my son, Andy, and his wife, Morgan. Tears welled at the corners of my eyes and slipped down my cheeks as we sang, All my days have been held in your hands. 

Early 90's

My thoughts drifted to nine years of an empty nursery, nine years of longing for children. I pictured my daughter, Bailey, a few miles across town in her worship service where her husband, Cameron, is on staff, and I sang, all my life you have been faithful, all my life you have been so, so good.

 

He is good, and He is faithful, and He loves me as no human could ever love, though I know I am loved by my humans. Sometimes when we’re mired in the darkness of everyday life, we can’t see His goodness, but it’s there, it’s always there.

Israel, May 2019

 

In my darkest hours, and there have been many, He was close like no other. As long as I have breath I will sing of the goodness of God.

 

My children are grown, and yet I will never get over God’s goodness to me. It fell afresh yesterday. 

Guest Post: He Calls Us His {An Adoptive Mom's Story}

I'm excited to have my friend, Amanda Bacon, as a guest on my blog. We met through author, Emily P. Freeman, prior to She Speaks last summer.

Amanda lives in the beautiful state of Alaska where she's a mom to eight, and wife to Jeremy. She has a smile that lights up a room, and a heart that's as big as the state she calls home. She puts her faith and trust in the one true God, even when He says do the extraordinary.

I'm closing out my series on adoption by hosting Amanda and her heartwarming story. I think you'll be blessed as much as I have been by her and her family. Please join me in welcoming her.

Several years ago, I believed I had a thorough understanding of God’s love. At the time, I was madly in love with the two little boys and two little girls we were entrusted to raise. Though I was crazy busy with those young kiddos who were maxing out the minivan and my capacity to keep up with the laundry, I was contented and happy. Loving them in that distinct way mothers love their children helped me understand God’s love for His children.

He sacrificed His Son for us. I sacrificed my time and energy as a mom.

He continually gives us wisdom through His Spirit, the Bible, and His people. And there I was in my yoga pants passing along godly wisdom to my children day after long day while wiping noses and watching countless episodes of Little Bear and Bob the Builder. See? God and I were basically the same. Ahem. I really should have spent more time during those days watching the sky for falling anvils.

I knew God loved us so very much that He sent His Son Jesus to earth to be the necessary sacrifice on our behalf. And I thought I understood the part about Him doing absolutely anything to be with us – anything to bring us into a relationship with Himself.  But honestly, I didn’t really get what the big deal was. After all, He chose to do it this way didn’t He?

Back then, I didn’t have a firm grasp of the gospel. The part about Christ’s death on the cross, taking the enormous weight of the world’s sin onto Himself. That’s huger than huge. It all started to sink in when I became an adoptive mom in 2010 and started to grasp how far He would go to pluck us out of our grim situation and lovingly tuck us under His protective wing.

When we were introduced to the gorgeous 7 week-old baby girl who was to be the first child welcomed into our family through adoption, the love I felt for her was fierce. So fierce that I would have done absolutely anything for her to be mine. After navigating some rough roads, we were able to take Gabrielle home a couple weeks after meeting her face-to-face, but then endured several months of teetering emotions and frustrations as we attempted to complete the paperwork needed to legally adopt her.

There were many unknowns that winter as we waited. Many nights my mind started to wander as I envisioned members of her birth family appearing at her window in the night coming to steal her away and all sorts of other crazy imaginings those ten months we waited for her adoption to finalize. I couldn’t bear the thought of her not being mine. Her story of adoption, and every other I’ve heard, is grace laid out for all to see. We saw how God orchestrated events in this little one’s life to bring her here to us, and we’re continually floored and thankful. We’ve had a front row seat to God’s great love and mercy two more times as we’ve welcomed two little boys home since Gabrielle’s adoption.

Through all of this, Christ’s immense love for us on the cross became so real. He didn’t have to attack sin head-on for me or for you, but He did. He couldn’t imagine us not being His, so He endured the unthinkable even in our messy state.

I finally understood. His indescribable love plucked us out of our grim future and took us under His protective wing. And just like that, He called us His.

What gripping words to ponder as we approach the holiest days in the life of a believer in Jesus Christ. 

My heartfelt thanks to Amanda for sharing her story with us. You can follow Amanda on her blog at http://www.amandabacon.com. She has exciting things in the works for Moms you don't want to miss.

Happy Easter,
Cindy  

The Miracle of Adoption-Baby Number Two

January 20, 1989 was a momentous date in the life of the Bush dynasty and the O'Brien family. You may wonder what our families could possibly have in common.

For the Bush family, this was the day George Sr. moved into the Oval Office and became our Forty-First President. And while that was of great importance, the events about to take place in the life of my family carried more significance.

While President and Mrs. Bush were making their rounds of presidential balls, we were sitting in an airport in Charleston, South Carolina waiting on a flight from Guatemala, Central America. It was carrying a three month old baby girl. She was given the name, Bailey Jean, at birth. Her first name was my mom's maiden name. Jean, is my middle name.

She would carry the name of her mother and grandmother, one she would never meet this side of heaven. That was important for me; the passing of a legacy through one's name.

When the missionaries asked if we wanted the next girl born, our answer was, "No, we want the next baby born." At that time, there were three women visiting the children's home, ready to give birth. Bailey was the next born, the others were boys. We knew from the beginning she was meant for us.

We opted to have her brought to us by Larry, the missionary. Her story unfolds on camera, and we have it to watch over and over again.

We arrived at the airport with time to spare. Our friends, Steve and Lori Williams, met us in Charleston. Steve was to be the official videographer. The plane was scheduled to land at seven p.m. We were there by five p.m. Anticipation grew as the magical hour approached. I paced back and forth, until there was a path worn in the carpet. My husband was cool and collected.


Daddy's girl...then

The aircraft was finally on the ground, yet we continued to wait. Babies are last to come off the plane many times, so we tried to be patient. One by one, passengers filed by, as disappointment gripped my heart with each one. I tried to contain the tears, but I could feel the well of emotion filling up.

Steve decided to go on board and video Larry carrying our baby out to us. He thought it would be more dramatic to capture her expressions inside the plane. The look on his face as he came off the plane is one I'll have in my memory for the rest of my life. He spoke these words in disbelief, "She's not there."


"What do you mean, she's not there?" I said "She has to be there." I burst into tears as my husband held me. There was no explanation.

We asked the flight attendant if there was a baby on board and she assured us there was not. She suggested we go to the Delta ticket counter. As soon as we approached the counter and gave them our name, there was a message awaiting us. The original flight had been canceled and she wouldn't be arriving for seven more hours.

A mixture of relief and anger flooded over me…mostly relief. I was thankful she was on her way but angry no one had informed us sooner. A simple announcement would have prevented our anguish. (Cell phones didn't exist.)

Now more waiting…the four of us went to dinner, shopped until the stores closed, went to a late movie, and  w  a  i  t  e  d.

Bailey and Lori

I cried until there were no more tears and then cried some more. The months of waiting for my baby girl had been difficult. Claire mailed pictures of her to us. Once you get a glimpse of a baby God has gifted you with, it's gut wrenching not to be able to get your arms around it. Once the floodgates opened, I couldn't stop the tears.

Finally, the announcement was made, she was on the ground. The camera was on and the moment we'd waited nine months for…"Welcome to America, Bailey Jean," were Steve's first words to her.

She was the most beautiful baby girl I'd ever seen. Her hair was long and jet black and I couldn't stop talking about it. Tears of joy fell all over her as she stared into our faces. We both cuddled her and held her and told her how much we loved her. It's a moment frozen in time for the three of us.



Daddy's girl...now

Not realizing at first what was happening, the flight crew and a few passengers had gathered around us to witness our joy. Applause broke out among those watching. They shared their experiences with her on the flight.

Lori and I stole away to the restroom with our little bundle. Bonds were sealed that night with these dear friends as well as those who were at home taking care of Andy.

Lori was the first to change her diaper; Steve's voice is the first voice she heard on American soil. There are many others who have had tremendous influence on her life to shape her into the woman she is today.

She is more beautiful today because of who she is on the inside. Though her outward beauty is stunning, it will fade one day, but the inward Strength she's built her life around will never fail her.

Her namesake would be proud to know her legacy is one of godly character and strength. I'm sure if she can see her she'd say, "Yes, that's my girl, I'd know her anywhere."

Blessings from My Little Corner,
Cindy

The Miracle of Adoption-Part Two

The call to Guatemala that night changed the course of our lives. Until that moment, it was words on paper, a promise of what could be. But, with sound of her voice, our future had new meaning.

All the stress and fretting over paperwork was worth those precious words, "I'm holding little Andy, your son." All the months of anticipating were over. We were Mommy and Daddy now, to Andy.

There was just one little thing; actually it was a very big thing…distance. He was 2,500 miles away and it would be two months before we would see him face to face; two months before I would hold him and tell him how much he was wanted.

And the w a i t i n g began.

Baby showers were given, plane tickets were purchased, and we  w  a  i  t  e  d.

In the meantime, these pesky papers came in the mail saying something about my fingerprints being done improperly, but I didn't think it had anything to do with bringing my baby home. The papers didn't say, "URGENT, YOU WON'T BE ABLE TO BRING YOUR BABY HOME IF YOU DON'T GET THESE RIGHT."

(Note to self: You might want to have an attorney review matters of foreign interest in the future.)

The long-awaited day arrived and we were Guatemala bound. Neither of us had ever left the country before. We had no idea what to expect, except there was a little boy waiting, who needed us as much as we needed him.

We arrived in Guatemala City at eight o'clock in the evening. We were on the ground floor of the airport. Claire was holding Andy over a balcony on the second floor so we could get a glimpse of him. It was love at first sight. I couldn't get to him fast enough. From the moment she placed him in my arms, we bonded. He became our son and we were a family. It didn't take long for love to pass between us. His eyes searched mine and we connected.

We quickly left the airport and made our way to the hotel for our first night as parents with a real baby in the room.

Before Larry and Claire left us for their room, Larry wanted to see our legal papers. He wanted to make sure everything was in order. He said, "Can I see Andy's Visa?" My husband and I looked at each other and said, "What Visa?"

The look on his face told me we were in trouble.

Larry told us Andy needed a Visa that would allow him into the United States. I told him we didn't have one and then realized why one had not been issued.

Fingerprints. Those pesky fingerprints again.

Guatemalan Women 

The power of prayer is a real thing. God showed up and turned the hearts of stone cold people, into people who were willing to allow me to complete my fingerprints AFTER I returned to the states, WITH my baby. One official told me it had NEVER been done before and I would have to return to Miami, Florida, without my baby.

God is sovereign and He will have His way if we ask; And we asked. We even made petition through our U.S. Senator.

The Visa was granted and we were all set to return home, until passports were frozen for all minor children in Guatemala.

Our hearts sank. It seemed everything was against us.

We used the time we were in Guatemala to explore the mountains and volcanoes, visit Southern Baptist missionaries and learn all we could about the culture. A lot of our time was spent in government offices pleading our case. We went before the Consulate General to share our hearts and prove we were legal, adoptive parents.

Plane tickets were changed as our hearts grew heavier.

Finally, after prayer intercession once more, his passport was issued. We were jubilant. Goodbyes were said to the missionaries, Larry and Claire, and also Southern Baptist missionaries, George and Helen Hardeman, whose home we'd stayed in the last part of our journey.

What an adventure this had been, but home was on my radar. A nursery prepared for our baby awaited.

God has used adoption in my life to help me grasp what Jesus did at the cross. Many times through the years, I've reflected on God choosing Andy and Bailey to be mine. I love the picture of Him choosing us through adoption, as His children for eternity.

"But when the fullness of time had come, God sent forth His son,

born of woman, born under the law, to redeem those who were under the law

so that we might receive adoption as sons.

And because you are sons, God has sent the Spirit of His Son into our hearts,

crying, "Abba! Father!"

Galations 4:4-6 ESV

"The fullness of time…" We don't understand His ways sometimes and why we have to wait. My years of waiting were worth every disappointment, every pain, and every tear because the joy I found in His plan for me was better than anything I could imagine.

In the fullness of time His plan will unfold for eternity. Will you be counted as one of His adopted children? Can you cry, "Abba, Father?" Just as I had a nursery waiting for my babies upon their arrival, Jesus has gone to prepare a place for you.

One prayer can change the course of your life...

Blessings from My Little Corner,

Cindy 

P.S. Bailey's story to come in a post soon. Hers is as unique as Andy's and had its own harrowing moments. 

The Miracle of Adoption

The miracle and blessing of adoption is one that never ceases to bring awe into my world. All these years later, I still look at my children and am filled with joy from a place deep inside me; a place only God can see.

The mere thought that two children, not made of my flesh, nor born of my body, could capture my heart, and be so much like me at the same time, is a miracle to me. Each of my children, in their own way, have my characteristics and mannerisms, quirky ways and loves. Only God, in His great love, could orchestrate hearts and minds to do that.


Larry and Andy(3 Weeks Old)

When our journey to adoption began early in 1986, there were very few foreign adoptions. We knew nothing about it and when we received three pages of typed instructions from the missionaries, Larry and Claire, it was overwhelming.

We carefully read each page of instruction, and completed them to the best of our ability; all on our own, with no legal advice on this side of the border.

I'm a, "let's do this the fastest way possible," kind of girl when it comes to something I want…and I wanted a baby. This was the first time there was hope in sight. Our hearts were set on go.

We had many documents such as birth and marriage certificates needing authentication by our government at the State Department in Washington, D.C., and the Guatemalan Consulate, also in Washington. So…what's a girl to do but get in her car and drive the documents to the government offices and present them in person, with a smile of course.

We left on a Sunday morning so I could be there by Monday morning to do all the paperwork. My friend, Terri, was going with me, but she could only be gone two days. As soon as we finished on Monday, we had to return to South Carolina.

With papers in hand, I went to the State Department of the United States where George Schultz presided at the time. I was in and out of there in minutes. There were nine documents for each of us; eighteen in all.

The Guatemalan Consulate was not as cooperative. It wasn't their policy to complete adoption papers in the same day. I explained the situation about my friend to the receptionist. I said, "She has to get back home to her little girl, so I have to leave the city at five o'clock today." I went on to tell her it was a twelve hour drive to South Carolina.

The lady replied, "You want us to do what? We can't do this in one day. You can leave these with us and we can possibly get them back to you tomorrow. I can't make any promises."

Andy-3 Months Old

I repeated my need to have them authenticated that day. She was not impressed with me, but agreed to give them to her boss. I was sure this was God's plan for us, so we left the papers. I told her I would return at the end of the day.

We spent the day at the Smithsonian Institute of American History; most of the time in the First Ladies Exhibit. Terri has a relative who was a former first lady.

We returned at four-thirty that afternoon to find nine pair of documents with red and blue ribbons and streamers adorning them. The receptionist who gave me the papers was quiet as she handed me the papers. She hesitated, then said, "I don't know who you are to get such treatment." I thanked her profusely and out the door we went, papers in hand.

I thought to myself later, it wasn't who I was, but Who He is.

We left the city, along with the gazillion other citizens who work and visit there on a normal Monday, with the most decorated papers I'd ever held in my hands. Twelve hours later, I pulled into her driveway and hugged Terri's neck, knowing we'd shared a life-changing event.

We completed the paperwork and sent it by DHL to the missionaries in Guatemala. We called at approximately midnight on December 13, 1986 to let them know the papers were on their way.

The next words we heard were the sweetest words I'd ever heard up to this point in my life. Claire said, "I'm not supposed to tell you this yet, but I'm holding little Andy, your son."

Tears of joy erupted as we held the phone between us. I blubbered something about not being sure if we were going to call him Andy or Drew. Claire said, "Oh, he's definitely an Andy, he's not a Drew." We spent the next several minutes hearing how our son came to be ours. The planning began in earnest to go after him…to bring him home.

God pursues us in the same way. He desires a relationship with us and He will go to extreme measures to capture our attention…to find us wherever we are…to rescue us and put us in a place where we can be loved and cherished. He will give you His promises and the faithfulness of I AM to stand behind every word.

Surely your goodness and unfailing love

will pursue me all the days of my life.

Psalm 23:6 NLT

It wasn't easy, as the heartaches multiplied before the plane landed on American soil and our sweet boy was tucked safely in his bed at home. Our journey to adoption will continue next week...

What journey are you on? Do you know He wants to pursue you too?

Blessings from My Little Corner,
Cindy