Tuesday, March 26, 2013

Motherhood 101

I was talking with my dear friend, Tina, recently (actually we were texting but you can have entire, meaningful conversations in a short amount of time) about our days as "stay at home" moms and all the many field trips and class parties we participated in with our children. We have been friends for a "coon's age" as I heard my parents say as I was growing up. We attended the same church and school, had the same friends and have "been there" for each other for all the "times of our lives."

Andy's first Easter
She was telling me about her youngest child going on a field trip to a barrier island off the coast of a neighboring state recently and that got us talking about our years as room mothers. Motherhood has many joys and especially being a "stay at home" mom, I got to experience many of the daily things that I wouldn't trade for all the tea in China.

First time holding Bailey
There was a time that being a mother was just a dream for me. Every little girl assumes she will grow up, get married, and have babies. That didn't happen for me, at least the baby part. After almost nine years of marriage and no babies, we went another route and chose adoption. We were blessed with two beautiful babies from Guatemala who were born 22 months apart. We got them both as babies so we were able to experience everything with them... and I mean everything. They have been the joy of my life.

Love at first sight
My husband asked me one time what my favorite holiday was and I said, "Mother's Day, of course." I think he understood. For many years though Mother's Day was painful. Not only could I not have children but I didn't have a mother for emotional support and guidance. She died when I was 15 years of age. Her death had robbed me of many of life's joys and now I was childless. Talk about wallowing in self pity. I didn't need a party with guests, I could have one all by myself. Anyone who's experienced infertility will understand my pain.

My story has a happy ending because adoption has been a wonderful blessing for my family. I can't imagine life any other way and know beyond a shadow of a doubt that God's plan for us was perfect and His timing was perfect.

As my friend and I were talking about all the school trips and parties we've shared together with our children, there are memories we will never forget...memories that bonded our friendship. Isn't that what life is made of? We're here for such a short time really. God places us in the family He chooses whether by birth or through adoption and then we pour our lives into these little ones until they're grown and ready to change the world...or maybe their little corner. We tuck them into bed, say prayers, go on field trips, pack lunches, send them off to the prom, then to college and then...it's time to let them go.

As I told my husband, my favorite holiday is Mother's Day because I can do all those things for my children...even let them go...but at the end of the day, I'm still their mom. When I was a little girl all I wanted to be when I grew up was a mommy. God heard my prayer.



  1. Cindy, Your writing always gives me chills. Thank you for sharing this. One of my best friends went through all the fertility and finally adopted, too. It is so funny because I always forget that they are adopted, like I forget that about your kids, too. I wish your mom could have been there to see your beautiful children, but your testimony is an inspiration.

  2. One of my deepest sorrows is that my children didn't get to know my mom on this earth and she didn't know them. She would have adored them. Fortunately they'll have all of eternity to get to know her! I had another friend tell me years ago she forgot Andy and Bailey were adopted too! I am blessed!