Monday, April 29, 2013

Hair Drying and Raising Children...

Drying my hair...that's when I'm most inspired to write. I don't know what it is about standing in front of a mirror with an appliance in my hand. Maybe it's the fact that I have a lot of hair and it takes a lot of time to dry, boredom sets in and my mind wanders. But inevitably, I'll think of the most interesting things to write about. So, I hurry the process along, get my legal pad and write as fast as my pencil will go. Yes, I write long handed, the method I prefer.

Today, for instance, I was thinking how unique we really are. That we each, from the time we begin toddling around, are searching for our place in the world. We're making decisions at a very early age about our likes and dislikes and forging our own path that will take us to where we'll one day be. I can look back on my children and their personalities at two and three years of age and see the same determination in them today. I can see the same likes and dislikes. A few things have changed but for the most part they've not strayed from their beginnings.

Many things will come into play to influence the outcome and we do have some control. I can remember a time in my own young life when I was in the first grade. I was walking to the bus stop early in the morning, which was just down at the end of the street. I was crying crocodile tears. The issue that ruined my morning and no doubt ruined my mom's morning? I didn't get to wear the dress I wanted to wear. I can remember it so clearly, I was heartbroken. I can remember walking just a little ways down the street, far enough away from my house, and stopping. My mom was still in the door telling me to go on to the bus stop. I was sobbing. I guess I thought maybe she would change her mind if she saw how upset I was. I tell you this to say I am STILL VERY particular in what I wear. I don't like to shop much, unless it's with a friend. I'm a very modest dresser so in this day and time it's difficult to find clothing I like. This is minor in light of what I want to talk about but hopefully you get my point. Those things that are in us that make us want to fit in are likely to be there as children and stay with us.We all want to fit in, be accepted, and loved. For me, it was as simple as wearing the dress I wanted in first grade. As I got older, the stakes got higher. I imagine it's the same for you too!

How many of us, of any age, think we have to have the right friends, the right house or wear the latest fashions to be accepted or loved? These things weren't as important to me as performing. I thought I had to be doing something. If someone asked me to do something I had to say "yes" or I thought they wouldn't like me. There were times I genuinely felt called to do certain things and I sure knew the difference once I got involved in something I wasn't supposed to be doing.

My heart is broken for our younger generations as I see them struggling to fit in. Many of them succumb to drugs and alcohol and even plastic surgery as teens to accomplish this. On the other hand, we don't give enough credit to the ones who stand strong on their principles, in their faith, and claim victory in the area of purity and abstinence. Many of our youth ministers are overworked and underpaid while trying to counteract the affects of a culture gone mad.

Families are torn apart because children see their parents very little, and when they do, they see them trying to live a lifestyle they can't afford, at the child's expense. They're sending a message that money is the main agenda.

So, they continue to ask the question, "where do I fit in?" to the wrong people. We as parents need to help them answer that question through solid, biblical council. The world wants to gobble them up and will find a way. It's our job to protect them.

Unfortunately, I didn't have this protection, since my mom died and my family kind fell apart. I know what I'm talking about. It taught me some valuable lessons that my husband and I incorporated into parenting our children. We've made our share of mistakes at parenting, but that's where grace is given freely, and if your children have seen a pattern through the years, they'll forgive.

I read a quote by Ann Voskamp, author of One Thousand Gifts, she said, "Busyness empties a soul." I think I would go on to say, "busyness empties a family." It takes away from spending quality time as well as quantity time with our children and teaching them to love themselves as God loves them and how to "fit in" anywhere they go, and with anyone they come into contact.

OK, so I'm finished preaching...this is something I care deeply about. It's taken me a lot of years to love myself for who God made me to be and to see myself as He sees me. I've asked Him to give me what He wants me to write and so when I dry my hair...well that's what I got for this post. So what does hair drying have to do with raising children? Not a thing, but maybe it got your attention! Maybe there's a child you know that's trying to find a place to fit in. We, as adults, have the answers for can only be found in a Person, not things, but we have to lead the way.

Blessings from My Little Corner,

p.s. Thanks for reading all the way to the was longer than usual!


  1. Another inspiring post, Cindy. You're right about our kids today. So many people on cell phones, computers, or over involved, even in good endeavors. Families are suffering for it. Thanks for sharing.

  2. Thanks Laura! I'm so glad mine are older now. It's such a battle for the heart and minds of our children. I watch families in restaurants and they don't even communicate anymore, it's sad to me. Maybe my words will bring attention to a few!